Question

Can it be done?

I have the following:

populate.func = function(node, state) {
    return (new function(data) { /* stuff*/ });
}

However, calling populate.func invariably calls both the called function and the returned function, whether I use regular calling convention or the call method. I want to be able to call populate.func and just return the function as a value to make use of, without actually running it…

Answer 1

just do this

populate.func = function(node, state) {
    return (function(data) { /* stuff*/ });
}

Your code is instantiating a new object using your function as a constructor function, but you want to return a reference to your function instead, so just drop the new keyword.