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I have this problem of confusing when to include the entire object as a property of another object, or just its ID. It seems that if I include the entire object, the calls to load the containing object will unnecessarily also load the included object when I probably only need references. What is propert approach?
Generally always refer to another object.
Many ORM technologies have the idea of “proxies” and “lazy loading”, meaning, unless you reference the object, it won’t load it.