what would be best method to share a database in Java (I have 2 computers connected via lan), both are windows xp
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If the database is shared by two computers, it really has to be a client/server database. MySQL is one but there are many many others. Many of them don’t even use SQL.
I would start with something like MySQL because its free and simple to use with a decent tools set.
A list of RDBMS SQL databases http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_relational_database_management_systems
A list of databases which support not only SQL http://nosql-database.org/