For one column it’s simple:
SELECT myColumn as 'My super sweet column', yourColumn FROM myTable;
# Results in:
# +-----------------------+------------+
# | My super sweet column | yourColumn |
# +-----------------------+------------+
# | 1 | 0 |
# +-----------------------+------------+
How would I achieve something like…?
SELECT * as 'Random_'* FROM myTable;
# To result in:
# +-----------------+-------------------+
# | Random_myColumn | Random_yourColumn |
# +-----------------+-------------------+
# | 1 | 0 |
# +-----------------+-------------------+
There is no reasonable way to do what you want. You have to list all column names and their aliases.